i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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