Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
