we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
