Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
