Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
