3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
