I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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