he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
