great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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