so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
