So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
