Do you still have your period?
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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