hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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