Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
