The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i've created a new STD.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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