Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
