it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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