I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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