I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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