I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
