You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
