Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
