I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
