Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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