The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
