Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
