Where are you?
In a non slutty way
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
