We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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