"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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