if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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