clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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