if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
When did angry sex become our thing?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
