His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
