Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he thought i was a dude.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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