Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
