He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
