proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
