plz talk dirty to me
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
