Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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