Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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