I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I will be naked everywhere
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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