I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
