I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
