she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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