Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
