it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
