I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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