Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
