just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
