my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
